This is love!

Don't you think that the longer you are married, the better you get at recognizing how much your spouse loves you through the oddest "displays".  In early marriage, I was wooed by love songs written just for me, and special date nights, and flowers and proclamations of my beauty and grace.

Now, 10 years and 2 kids later...

I am wooed by my husband doing fancy tricks on his bike while the kids and I follow him.   I was pushing our jogging stroller and so badly wanted a few more minutes of exercise.  But, the natives were restless.  A revolt was steadily growing.  Snacks were no longer placating and the grumbling was growing louder and louder.  

Dun dun du daaaaaa...

My knight in shining armor steps up and begins entertaining them with all sorts of antics.  He was pretending to ride into the trees lining the walkway.  He would ride under the tree branches and duck at the very last moment, just barely missing a concussion.  The kids were giddy with excitement.  There is nothing funnier to toddlers and preschoolers than physical comedy, right?

Well, maybe this is better.  This was his finale.  For about a 1/2 mile he did these tricks while cars slowed down and people walking on the other side of the street stared at us like we were the biggest family of freaks.  Were they in awe?  Were they perplexed?  Yes to all of it.

-"Honey, what is that guy doing?"

-"I don't know dear, but lets stay on this side of the road.  I hope he doesn't fall on those children."

My models

As promised, here are some photos of the kids in the fashion show...

{the wee ones in the hot off the press simple shoes}

{Logan & India practicing - Logan ended up walking another little one down the catwalk}

{"this modeling stuff is hard work, lets rest right here in the middle of the floor"}

{practicing - how cute is that face on Callen!}

{strutting}

{is there anything cuter than that?}

I'm loving this...

Don't you just want to sit on that floor and soak it up?  I love this room.  Love the light, the colors, the funky letters on the wall, the mix of modern and aged pieces...love it all!

This is the family room of blogger Andrea, from hula seventy.  For the tour, go here.

It makes me want to paint my current dining room table (see below) a funky, chipping torquoise color.  What do you think? Do I dare?  The legs on this table kind of scream for paint, don't you think?  

This table was a gift from my dear friend, Tristen, for my 30th birthday.  She snagged it at a local garage sale for $25!  She is a cool bargain magnet!

He's Too Sexy For His Shirt!

Well, apparently Callen was born to strut his stuff.  From the moment he stepped onto the "catwalk" - it was a legit catwalk with lots of lights and thumping music and a decent audience - he turned into a two year old version of Blue Steele.  He was a natural and is talking about his "big show" just about every 5 minutes.  If I was highly motivated, I would consider getting him a little agent person to help build his college fund because Lord knows we could use the padding.  But, I am a lazy mom and would rather spend my days with him at the beach or rolling cars down the slide at our park.

But, thank goodness, there were no meltdowns until after the show when he tried to sled down the sidewalk on his hands and knees (he fell).  

And, I apologize for not having any photos to share with you.  I forgot to pack my camera (yes, I know, what mother forgets her camera when her kid is going to be on stage?  That would be me!).  But, Kristen took some photos so I will share them with you soon.

Happy Weekend, Y'all!

Fashion Show

{here is Callen, flaunting his two-ness}

Tomorrow Callen is supposed to be in a Simple Shoes fashion show.  He is 2.  He is stinking cute and can definitely ham it up with the best of them.  He is charming and handsome.  Yes, all of this is true.  

But, he is 2.  The chances of meltdowns are high, and the battle of the wills could be in full force.

This is what I am hoping for...

That he makes it all the way down the "runway" with a smile on his face.

That he does not refuse to walk down the runway when it is his turn.

That he does not panic halfway down the runway and scream for me.

That he does not see any sort of snack or treat in the audience as he is walking down the runway, causing him to stop and demand a taste!

That he does not stop in the middle of the runway and "do a show" (that would mean that he would sing something that sounds a bit like a duck trying to sing and it probably would have words like "Thomas, James and Percy" but his pronunciation of "Percy" sounds much more like a horrible name for a girl's body part.)  

Oh, and I am also hoping that he gets to keep the cute simple shoes.  

As I was tucking him in bed tonight, I was prepping (brainwashing) him for his "big show where he will walk slowly in his new shoes".  I almost had to pinch him because he is just too cute when he replied:

"Oh yes.  I so stited!"

I will let you know how it goes...

to snip or not to snip?

[a brochure on vasectomy from the 1980's-note the two men discussing the procedure over coffee]

That is indeed the question of the day over here in the Bray home.  We are at a cross roads ...  do we take the plunge and solidify that we are done?  Do we wait a bit longer in case we get a strong desire to re-enter babyhood?

My youngest is going to be 3 in February and I have got to tell you, things are pretty dang sweet right now.  We can do long outings and not be overly concerned about naps.  We are in a really sweet phase.  The thought of being pregnant right now and having the morning (afternoon, evening, all night) sickness again while taking care of these two beautiful kids makes me want to give up a kidney instead.

Sure, I have a few baby twinges here and there.  When I see that belly bump poking out of the cute pregnant moms around me I kind of feel a twinge.  And, when I see the new little peanuts being carried so gently in their parents' arms, I feel a slight twinge.  When I look at these little people growing up so quickly right in front of my eyes.  Their babyhood is like a breeze that blowing through my house.  Slam goes the screen door, it is gone.

But, then the thoughts of sleepless nights and all that is entailed in another little person quickly snaps me back to my reality.  And, my reality is that I often feel like I am barely scraping by as a mom as it is.  I often end the day feeling like there is just not enough time to give these kids and to take care of my husband and our home the way that I want to.  But, maybe with each kid we let go of a little bit more of that control that we hold.  I definitely think that I am a better parent now than I was in the very beginning.  I am less freaked out by the small stuff.  More "big picture", learning to enjoy the golden moments more.

How do you know when you are done?  How do you know that it is time to snip?

opportunities all around me

The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.
-Leo Buscaglia

Lately I have been struck by this quote.  Because when I stop to look at my life and my days right now, it is very clear that my day is made up of mini-moments strung together that are perfect opportunities to show my love to those in my path. As a full-time SAHM, my kids are the people I am with the most.  I am trying to submit to this idea.  To lean into it.  To see each moment as an opportunity to share my love and joy with whomever I am engaged with in that moment.  It changes the way I go about filling sippy cups and preparing lunch.  Even how I lay that lunch on the table.  So often, I am plopping lunch down, shuffling kids about and scurrying from here to there in the midst of that task.  Today, I was conscious of setting it down and kissing each of my kids on the top of the head.  Small moment.  Huge difference in my day, though.  I am left feeling like I am the lucky one - to get to love on these beautiful people in my life.  My kids.  My husband.  My in-laws.  My parents.  My friends.  The lady in front of me at the grocery store.  The little kid at the park who just needs a smile.  

There really are opportunities all around me...

It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
-Mother Teresa

An idea for Obama!

Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with their imagination.
-Robert Fulghum

a true piece of me

Today I had a little gift in my day.  I got to go running.  By myself.  I am trying to exercise regularly, but the whole "I need to care for two little children" thing is a huge barrier for me.  I get really frustrated by the bickering, the grabbing of each others' snacks & toys & "space", the constant questions that demand replies that my winded self just cannot answer in rhythm with my moving body ...  I get frustrated.

Today I got to go all by myself.  No one to talk to.  No "I spy" games to play while I run.  No stopping to pick up dropped items.  Just me and the pavement.  And my ipod (thank you, iphone.  and thank you for letting me take these pictures while i run and while i listen to my running mix!!)) to drown out the heavy breathing.  Just me and my thoughts and steady breathing.

I felt so free.  It took me right back to a season of life [college in La Jolla, CA] that was characterized by open schedule, freedom to run for an hour at a time, and no one to care for but myself.  I cannot really explain how I suddenly felt a bit more like myself as I was running today.  Like there is this "Ali" that spans my life's timeline, and today two parts of that timeline collided.  I am sure there is a strong chance that those words made no sense whatsoever to anyone but me.

Here is my hope - that every mother out there can have some sort of escape every now and then that takes her to that happy place.  It could be sewing, painting, walking, running, reading in a park with strangers around.  Because, I came home full.  Thankful.  I had eyes that got to focus on the beauty around me and an undivided self that was able to take in the moment fully - the smells of the trees and the cool fall air and my breathing ...

Where is your happy place?

To Whomever Was In Charge of the Whole Time Change Thing:

This was a very bad idea. On behalf of all the other mothers of the world, please change it back.

Sincerely, 

Ali

[tired mom who is tired of waking up before 6 AM]

McCain, this could be your last minute maneuver to boost your numbers - go on all major networks and address the mothers of the world.  Tell them that you hear their cries and you understand.  And that you will make abolishing daylight savings your first plan of attack!  We would way rather have sleep than a healthy economy.  

Honestly, I think I might vote for Mickey Mouse if he would promise to abolish the time change deal.

Seriously.

There is no possible way that a mother was a part of the whole "Daylight Savings" discussion!  No. possible. way.

I mean, what mother would want time to go backwards?  

Can you picture it - "Oh, my kids wake up between 6 and 6:30 everyday, lets go ahead and move the clock backwards.  I would love another hour with them in the morning."

No Way!

So, this is a day that I have constantly been looking at the clock thinking, "It has to be 10 AM already."  No, it is 7:45.

"It has to be 10:30 by now.  I mean, we have watched our morning TV time, had breakfast, played board games, done play-doh time, played hide and go seek, please, God, let it be 10:30!"

Nope.  9:30.

I am bitter at "Fall Back."

{Happy Halloween}

We have enjoyed the Halloween Festivities to our fullest capacity this year! Callen was really excited to be Buzz Light Year, but I guess he only enjoys being Buzz in the comforts of our own home.  When it was time to head out for the Trick or Treating he was inconsolable (could be due to the fact that the buzz costume is like wearing leather pants, and it is 90 degrees here - where the heck is Fall???).  So, we moved to a Plan B costume - David Beckham.  Apparently David Beckham is not super concerned with his nutrition because last night he attempted to eat his weight in sugar!

 Logan embraced her inner-fanciness as "Fancy Nancy", her favorite character in literature right now - complete with pink hair and all.  She loved the parade at preschool and was in treat nirvana for the Trick or Treating time!  We got to spend the evening with 8 other families - so there were lots of super heroes, fifties girls, a cheerleader, and even a dog dressed like a pig trick or treating as a group.  We were overwhelming to the poor home owners for sure!

I hope you had a Happy Halloween!

{Logan as Fancy Nancy @ preschool}

{Logan & Dorothe & a fairy, also known as Maya & Sascha}

{the parade}

{Buzz from the back}

{Callen as Buzz, before the Melt-Down}

{the crazy posse of kids}

{Trick or Treat!!!}

{Callen as Beckham}

{Happy Halloween from Fancy Nancy & David Beckham!!}

Gratitude Revolution, part 2

[gratitude revolution part 1 is here]

It is my firm belief that my attitude, gratitude, and awareness of the blessings that are a part of my history and current life greatly impact my actions and my perspective on life.

My glass is either half full - because I am aware of how, in my life, I have experienced having my glass filled time and again.  

OR

My glass is half empty - because as I look at my life, I see all that I lack, and I am not remembering the past that is full of blessings.

I impact my own gratitude by how (or if) I choose to reflect on my past.

I was reading Psalm 105-106 today. It records over and over how God was faithful to the Israelites in their journey out of Egypt and through the desert. It also points to the fact that we as humans are so forgetful, and that our trust should be based on our history.

Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love, but rebelled by the sea, at the red sea. Yet, He saved them for His name's sake, that He might make known His mighty power.
Psalm 106:7-8

"But they soon forgot His works..."  (Psalm 106:13)

"They forgot God, their Savior, who had done great things..." (Psalm 106:21)

A lack of remembrance is connected to action.  It is really easy for me to look at the record of these people who lived long ago and scoff at their "forgetfulness".  I mean, here are these people living in the midst of miracles.  - God sending the plagues to provoke their freedom from Egypt.  Leading them to the Red Sea and then PARTING the waters so that they could walk through the sea to freedom.  Taking them through the desert and daily providing them with bread to eat that would fall from the sky, hearing them declare their thirst and causing water to flow from a rock...  I can so easily see their constant forgetfulness and how it caused them to complain and to fear for their present circumstances.  In my head, I think, "If I had seen God open the sea, or drop bread into my hands every day,  I would absolutely KNOW that He would continue to care for me."

But, here is what I know about myself.  I forget today how God was faithful to me yesterday.  I forget that He created the two children who are MIRACLES in the midst of my infertility.  I forget that He has absolutely provided for our family in the most amazing ways in the midst of this economic uncertainty.  It may not be water flowing out of a rock, but it is clear to me that God is doing good things in my life daily.

So, if I am going to have this revolution of gratitude in my life, I think where I have to start is by remembering.  There is this section of Deuteronomy that always gives me chills:

I am going to start today with remembering.