Wednesday, November 5, 2008

a true piece of me

Today I had a little gift in my day.  I got to go running.  By myself.  I am trying to exercise regularly, but the whole "I need to care for two little children" thing is a huge barrier for me.  I get really frustrated by the bickering, the grabbing of each others' snacks & toys & "space", the constant questions that demand replies that my winded self just cannot answer in rhythm with my moving body ...  I get frustrated.

Today I got to go all by myself.  No one to talk to.  No "I spy" games to play while I run.  No stopping to pick up dropped items.  Just me and the pavement.  And my ipod (thank you, iphone.  and thank you for letting me take these pictures while i run and while i listen to my running mix!!)) to drown out the heavy breathing.  Just me and my thoughts and steady breathing.

I felt so free.  It took me right back to a season of life [college in La Jolla, CA] that was characterized by open schedule, freedom to run for an hour at a time, and no one to care for but myself.  I cannot really explain how I suddenly felt a bit more like myself as I was running today.  Like there is this "Ali" that spans my life's timeline, and today two parts of that timeline collided.  I am sure there is a strong chance that those words made no sense whatsoever to anyone but me.

Here is my hope - that every mother out there can have some sort of escape every now and then that takes her to that happy place.  It could be sewing, painting, walking, running, reading in a park with strangers around.  Because, I came home full.  Thankful.  I had eyes that got to focus on the beauty around me and an undivided self that was able to take in the moment fully - the smells of the trees and the cool fall air and my breathing ...

Where is your happy place?


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