"Those who know Your Name will trust in You;
for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You." -Psalm 9:10
These are the two questions that Amy poses for examen:
Where am I trusting God today?
Where do I need to trust God today?
Ugh. Let me just pull the covers up over my head for a minute while I eat a yummy bar of dark chocolate. If I could go to sleep for the next 30 days I would. That is my true feeling right now. I'm tired and this season is exhausting. I feel like I am battling every minute to keep my head and heart in the right place. The last 24 hours have been particularly heavy as my husband and I have had lots of conversations about finances and our situation.
I think of Jesus' words in Matthew telling us not to worry about what we will eat or drink or wear. And I want to so badly not worry about how we will survive this season of scarcity, but in the face of reality it is really difficult not to go there.
so...
1. Where am I trusting God today?
I am in this beautiful place of reality meeting theology and I want with every fiber of my being to believe that God means what He says. That His peace can transcend all understanding. That though it looks bleak on a day where funds run low and bills run high, that He will provide. That when we know the direction to go, but are still unclear of the exact path and details are not in focus yet - that He will whisper the way to go as He has promised (Psalm 73:23-24) step by step. I am trusting that He is with me in this and that He sees where we are. I am choosing to take every thought captive and trust that He cares about all this prayers whispered as I do battle to stay in the here and now and not crawl to my bed to ride out the next 30 days that feel unknown and ominous. Today is not a day where I feel victorious and like the woman who laughs at the days to come. But, I am trusting that God is here with me in this day and that He sees what we need and is going to give us our emotional, spiritual and physical daily bread.
2. Where do I need to trust God today?
"You are a God of seeing. Truly, here I have seen Him who looks after me." - Gen. 16:13
These words are so powerful to me. They reveal this quality of God - that He sees our specific needs and hears our specific prayers and that He looks after us. He loves us, Oh how He loves us. Couldn't you just stand and sing those words over and over until the meaning penetrates the tender places of your heart that feel alone and desperate and unloved; uncared for.
Today - I need to trust that He is still a God of seeing and that He sees me. That He is walking with me and doing battle with me and interceding FOR me. Hearing the words from my heart before I can even speak them out loud.
I read this in a post by Ann Voskamp today:
It could be this in the middle of Lent: March — the month to march around walls in our lives and pray for God to bring down everything that keeps us from Him.
March — a 31 day march around the Jericho that’s keeping You from Jesus.
31 days to march around that one fear. March around that one worry. March around that one temptation. I know what my Jericho is. I name it. I will go home and I will write it down.
Write it in a prayer journal. Circle everyday of March on the calendar, make a prayer circle around each day and march around that Jericho, head bowed. Pray around it again and again — sliver blades cutting a circle, encircling all that is with His will, presence, grace.
I think my fear is that He won't show up as my Provider. He has never failed me before, and yet, these same little weeds grow around my little seed of faith threatening to choke it out. So, today, I need to trust that God is WHO HE SAYS HE IS. That I would be able to live out this verse:
"Those who know Your Name will trust in You;
for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You." -Psalm 9:10
The Names of God
Elohim ~ Creator (Genesis 1:1)
El Elyon ~ The Most High/Sovereign (Genesis 14:18-10)
Jehovah-Tsidkenu ~ The Lord our Righteousness (Jeremiah 23:6)
Jehovah-Jireh ~ The Lord will provide (Genesis 22:14)
Jehovah - Roi ~ The Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23:1)
Jehovah-Shalom ~ The Lord is peace (Judges 6:24)
Jehovah-Nissi ~ The Lord is my Banner (Exodus 17:15)
Jehovah-Rophe ~ The Lord who heals (Exodus 15:26)
Jehovah-Shammah ~ The Lord is there (Ezekiel 48:35)
Jehovah-Saboath ~ The Lord of hosts (1 Samuel 1:3-11)
